How To Deal With Jealousy

 

Like love, joy, happiness, hate, and anger, jealousy is also an integral part of human nature. Human nature is molded with both strength and weakness, and jealousy is one of the most potent weaknesses. The potency of jealousy arises from the fact that it is a double-edged sword.  Not only does jealousy harm others, but it also wounds the self. There is perhaps no person who has never felt jealous in his/her life. For one thing jealousy arises out of an inherent dissatisfaction with the self. When a person is dissatisfied, it breeds the ground for insecurity. And an insecure person will always look upon others with fear and envy. This proves to be a fertile ground for jealousy to move and spread its tentacles. The human consciousness is such that no matter how mighty a person is, he/she will look at everyone who is strong with jealous eyes. But jealousy is most manifest in matters of love. As an Arab proverb goes “Love sees sharply, hatred sees even more sharp, but jealousy sees the sharpest for it is love and hate at the same time”. Yes, jealousy is a potent mixture of love and hate, which makes it almost impossible for all humans to escape from its clutches. While healthy jealousy helps a person to move forward and achieve his desires and wishes, the concern arises when the feeling of jealousy turns unhealthy, which is when it must be nipped in the bud. Each one of us should develop the ability to deal with jealousy so that we don’t become a slave to its whims. Given below in the article are various tips on how you can deal with your jealous feelings.

 

Dealing With Jealousy

• Imagine treating a person of an illness when you do not know what the cause behind it is! Just like this is impossible, in the same way dealing with jealousy is as well impossible when you do not know the cause. Find out the root cause of your jealousy. This will help you to deal with it in a better manner. There can be several reasons of jealousy. Once you identify the reason, you can then take steps to overcome it.
• Insecurity is the underlying cause of jealousy. The insecurity, in turn, is because of low self esteem. So, in order to stem your jealousy, you have to build your self confidence. Improve on your weak areas so that you feel better about yourself. You should remember that everybody has faults and that no one is perfect. The art is to enhance the positives in such a way that the negatives do not loom out large.
• Many a times we give so much importance to the negative experiences in our life that they tend to shape our future judgments and sometimes, our future as well. However, no matter howsoever depressing things have become, don’t let your sanity go down the drain. Make reasonable judgment and take fair decisions so that you do not feel jealous later on.
• In case you have loyalty issues with your partner and are jealous with the number of friends that he/she has, know that it is time you act maturely. Have trust in your partner. Any assumptions that you make regarding your partner should be based upon your good judgment and facts. Above all, have faith in your partner and stop getting swayed by every little misunderstanding.
• When jealousy fills the soul, then the focus stays solely on the person whom you are jealous of. Try to divert the focal point to yourself and give more attention to self. When you focus on yourself or your work, you will be less preoccupied in getting jealous of others.
• Do you feel less glamorous? Are you jealous with the way the other person has climbed the success ladder? Do you think of yourself as less gifted or less talented by any manner? If yes, then it is time you change your mental self image. This will not only help you to boost your confidence, but also abate your jealous feelings.
• Another very common cause of jealousy is fear. Deal with your fears and get over them as soon as you can. The fear can range from anything, right from breakup to shame. So, conquer your fear so that you don’t have to resort to jealous feelings.
• Don’t hide your insecurities. Insecurities regarding anything can give rise to jealous feeling. Identify the areas in which you are insecure about and deal with it. The best way in which you can deal with your insecurities is to talk about it. Reason with yourself and talk to people who can give you a sympathetic ear.
• Whenever you find yourself getting all green with envy, try to look at the situation from a different angle. Think of events differently. In this way, you will realize that your first impression of the subject is not the best one.